don't be too quick to draw conclusions from what happens to you; simply let it happen. otherwise it will be too easy for you to look with blame (that is: morally) at your past, which naturally has a share in everything that now meets you. but whatever errors, wishes, and yearnings of your boyhood are operating in you now are not what you remember and condemn. the extraordinary circumstances of a solitary and helpless childhood are so difficult, so complicated, surrendered to so many influences and at the same time so cut off from all real connection with life that, where a vice enters it, one may not simply call it a vice. one must be so careful with names anyway; it is so often the name of an offense that a life shatters upon, not the nameless and personal action itself, which was perhaps a quite definite necessity of that life and could have been absorbed by it without any trouble. and the expenditure of energy seems to you so great only because you overvalue victory; it is not t

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